It's been a month

Today marks 1 month since my mama passed away. So i know the question on everyone's mind is how am I coping. Well to be honest with you I don't really have a "correct" answer.  There are times that I feel alone in the world, I guess that will go away in time. Theres nothing anyone can do or say to make me not feel this way, it's just what it is. To this day I still haven't broke down, I mean i did that day but that was the initial shock. I have yet to have that full break down that everyone keeps telling me about. And that scares me to be honest. Like there are times that I feel like a bad daughter because I have yet to have that break down. I wake up everyday asking myself if today is the day. It still hasn't happen. There are times that I want to stay in bed and will force myself to go back to sleep. I do this because i don't want "today" to be the day.  I still feel like my world is crumbled and I have no idea how to put the pieces back together. I know that over time they will fall into place. 

I have been trying to keep busy most days to distract my mind.  I have started running and have recently become a BeachBody Coach. Today was my first day watching my niece and I loved every minute of it. If you are sad that little girl knows just what to do to make you smile. I also had a much needed relaxing pedi with a friend. On top of that we got a new baby. His name is Roo. I wanted to use a Disney name. A few days before mama died she suggested Roo, from Winnie the Pooh. 

Considering what today is I think I had a good day. I definitely what to start having more good days. I've been seeing people post on instagram about 100 days of happiness. So basically everyday for 100 days you do something that makes you happy. I am contemplating doing that. The only problem is when I try to do daily stuff I do it for a few days then for whatever reason I loose track and forget to do it. So I'm not sure if now is the right time.