Road to Baby C part 5

So it's been close to a month since the last time I blogged. After the Bully incident I kind of got hard on myself internally. So I needed to take a little blogging break. A lot has happen since the last time I posted.

* The provera worked!!!! CD1 (cycle day) finally came!! So on CD3-7 I take Letrozole, which is a fertility medicine that forces you to create eggs. On Monday I went to get my folic study. The Letrozole worked!!!! I had 2 eggs and was set to release them within 24-48hrs!!!! We are now officially in our 2 week wait!!! So crossing our fingers and toes.

* The second thing that has happen is, my Etsy shop has really started to taken off. I am beyond excited about this journey.


So back onto the baby journey (yeah I know I get off topic a lot lol). I have really been having a hard time the last few weeks deal with my emotions. It literally seems like every day there is a new pregnancy announcement, birth announcement, or gender reveal. It really breaks my heart that it isn't our turn yet. I know that these people aren't trying to hurt my feelings but it just is. I don't want them to have to walk on egg shells during their happy time just to make sure that I am ok. The reality of the situation is the road of Trying To Conceive is a very difficult road in more ways than one. We have a lot of emotions going on from feeling like a failure to extreme jealousy. Yes we get jealous but a lot of us won't admit it to the people that we are jealous of because we don't want them to feel bad during their joyous time. I will admit there has been times were I have wanted to disable all social media or wanted to block those that are going through this joyous time. Then I remind myself that if will be ok and that one day (hopefully soon) that will be us getting to make huge announcements.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I TAKE A SHOWER IN BABY DUST!!


XOXOXO

Bullying is never the answer

My heart aches for this post, I was debating whether or not if I should post about it. Considering MY blog is about my life (the ups and the downs) I figured that it was warrented. That it will show that bullying is alive and well and that it can effect anyone.

 Last night I was a victim of bullying. It wasn't as bad as others have had it but bullying in any form is not right. It doesn't matter how much or how little, bullying is bullying and it effects people in many ways. Someone that I had considered a friend attacked one of my shirt designs because she didn't like the wording. I stood up for my product then deleted the comments and blocked the person on fb and ig. This person then went to Twitter and attacked me personally. Even going so low as to attacking the fact that I am having fertility problems and that she hopes that I never get pregnant. This is a person I considered a friend, She stooped so low to say such vile things. Other people on Twitter saw what she said and stood up for me. I am beyond grateful that they did this. I am at loss as to how someone can say such vile things and not have one hint of remorse. To say that you hope I never become pregnant is beyond heartbreaking. I'm not sure what's worse, the things she said or that she was a "friend".

How it started was over a freaking shirt, yes you heard that right a shirt!! She didn't like the wording on one of MY shirt designs. I posted the shirt on my instagram she then proceeded to say it was wrong, (in hindsight I probably should have deleted the comment) I defended the design, she went postal from that point on. I deleted the comments at that point, blocked her on instagram and Facebook. she then decided to take it to Twitter. Then she kept trying justify what she said by saying I spoke ill of her pregnancy, I NEVER once spoke ill, I knew her struggle. I have a whole bunch of stuff I could have pulled on her but never did, I am not going to stoop to her level. She kept calling me names like cunt and moron ect. I reported the tweets, then once people noticed what she said and started to back me she deleted most of the tweets to make it look like we were attacking her. Everyone has screenshots!!!

Yes I post my journey on my blog, I post so others know they are not alone not to use it as a weapon against me. I did nothing wrong!!! I was defending my product. The moment I read it I literally dropped my phone. The fact that someone can say that and not have any remorse baffles me. Like my heart literally hurts. I don't get it how someone can think it's ok to say things like that. To be so malicious with your words and have no remorse is beyond me.

Honestly I feel bad for her and for all the bullies out there. They obviously are struggling with something in their lives to act this way towards people.

What Is Cyber Bullying?

Cyber bullying is bullying through email, instant messaging (IMing), chat room exchanges, Web site posts, or digital messages or images send to a cellular phone. Cyber bullying, like traditional bullying, involves an imbalance of power, aggression, and a negative action that is often repeated. 

Cyber bullying in its simplest form takes place between two people through email, instant messaging, or phone texting. But to be fully satisfying to the genuine bully, there has to be an audience; thus, he elevates the bullying to social media, Twitter, or a comment forum. In this way, the humiliation is public and twice as shaming. And the bully can perform at his sadistic best (or worst) before like-minded aggressors.  

Trolls 

Adult cyber bullying often takes the form of “trolling.” The word comes from a reference to the method of catching fish by trolling a baited line in the water and waiting for a fish to bite. In the same sense, the Internet troll tries to “catch” an unsuspecting victim to demean and humiliate. Trolls are an annoying problem for those who use the Internet regularly. They are present on social media and in the comments sections of various websites, articles, blogs, and other online forums.

Stats

Nearly 75 percent of American adults have witnessed online harassment, with 40 percent seeing the brunt of that cyberbullying, according to a survey on the subject by the Pew Research Center.

When it came to observing others:

• 60 percent said they witnessed someone being called offensive names
• 53 percent saw efforts to purposefully embarrass someone
• 25 percent witnessed someone being harassed for a sustained period of time
• 24 percent saw someone being physically threatened
• 19 percent said they witnessed someone being sexually harassed
• 18 percent said they saw someone stalked

Of those who personally experienced cyberbullying:

• 27 percent were called offensive names
• 22 percent had someone try to purposefully embarrass them
• 8 percent were physically threatened
• 8 percent were stalked
• 7 percent were harassed for a sustained period
• 6 percent were sexually harassed 

Road to Baby C part 4

I've been struggling with this post for a few weeks now. I went to see my specialist and I have a "diagnosis" if you could call it that. Good news is I don't have PCOS however I have "unexplained infertility" so we are now having to go see a fertility doctor to help.

This is a double edged sward, on one hand I am happy that there is "nothing" wrong that I don't have a "condition". And on the other hand hearing "unexplained infertility" is heart wrenching. It makes me think what could I have done wrong?. My specialist explained the process of what is going to happen and that they are very optimistic that they will succeed in helping us make our dreams come true. I will end up being on at least 3 different types of medicine. One to induce a cycle, one to "regulate" me and one to induce ovulation. I am well aware that the first few months are trial and error for finding my perfect dosage just like any other medication. I can only hope that with the help of our fertility doctor that our long and hard journey is almost over with our dreams coming true.

Everyday I get so scared to go on social media. Everyday there is a new person popping up pregnant. Now don't get me wrong I am happy for those people. However I can't help but be jealous and angry at the same time. Don't they realize that they are being very insensitive, is what I always say however I have to tell myself that just because I have chosen to tell my story doesn't mean they haven't struggled. But there is also that small percentage that wasn't trying or for that matter never wanted kids and now all the sudden they are all over the place posting in your face. Like I said I am happy that all of these people are being blessed, but its very hurtful.

I would never wish this pain on my worst enemy. It is an inner struggle and war with yourself. Blaming yourself for god knows what. Feeling like you are being punished for something. It also takes a toll on your marriage. As much as I'd like to say that is doesn't, it truly does, it pits you against each other at times. I have come to hate the term "god doesn't give you more than you can handle", that saying is a crock of shit. He has done so much crappy shit to my family in the last year an a half more than anyone in this life time ever deserves.

I keep telling myself that my struggles will help someone know they are not alone and that they can get through the darkness. However why me, why do I have to go through all of this? All I have every wanted my whole life was to be a wife and a mother. I have always said that my sole purpose in life is to be a wife and a mother. Why can't I have that? Why does my life have to be hard? What did I ever do to deserve this turmoil?

Exfoliating Body Scrub with Dead Sea Salt and Natural Oils

*POWERED BY BRANDBACKER*

I received this THE SEA SALT BODY SCRUB: Made with Real Dead Sea Salt in return for my honest review.

About the Product

THE SEA SALT BODY SCRUB: Made with Real Dead Sea Salt - 100% Pure and Genuine for an infusion of 21 Minerals Essential to Proper Skin Function. Great Exfoliator and Moisturizer.

THE BENEFITS: Fine Grain Dead Sea Salts Exfoliate the Top Layer of Dead Skin Cells to Reveal a New Younger Looking Layer of Radiant Skin. Deeply Moisturizing Oils Infuse Skin With Luxurious Hydration that Lasts All Day

Works Great in The Shower or Bath - Also a Great Hand Exfoliator to use in the Sink or Foot Scrub

Learn About the Brand

goPURE Naturals was started by Erin Keyan who after becoming a mother was shocked to discover how many products contain toxic and dangerous chemical ingredients. She formulated goPURE Naturals with the goal of developing a brand that women can trust to contain only the purest and natural ingredients, while making them look and feel their best.

Review

So I have tried other salt and sugar scrubs, I always have loved them. Oh boy was I wrong those other brands have nothing on this product!!! I started out and was just going to test it out on my hands and legs. I did my hands first. Let me tell you once I did my hands I has in love and ended up going a full fledged at home spa exfoliation session. The first thing I liked about this product was the color. I am big on the "ocean" colors. Then the scent upon opening it just took me to this relaxation place. Of course this has oils in it, at first thought I was like crap it is going to give me that "second layer" of skin instead of actually soaking into my skin. Boy was I wrong. I instantly felt my skin soaking it up and my skin felt refreshed and hydrated. 2 days later my skin still feels so soft and hydrated. I am beyond pleased with this product.

eShakti update + Coupon Code

eShakti has updated their products with even more styles of clothing. From lines such as Contemporary and Bohemian, introduced products in new categories like Jumpsuits, Pants and Shorts. The site alone even has a new feel. In my opinion its more user friendly.

 

This company is awesome they heard concerns for the way the site ran as well as people wanting more of a variety and they ran with it. I think the out come is amazing. This company has become one of my favorite companies to buy clothes from. What other site gives you this much control over what you buy? You can pick an item then customize it to your liking. All of this without having to break the bank. If you have yet to order something you should!!!!!! Also great news.......... A coupon code just for my readers for $35!!! Seriously they are giving you $35 to shop, take advantage of this great promotion!!!! Trust me you will love it, the hard part will be narrowing down what you want.

I am loving the Bohemian and Retro Modern Collections.

I have so many things in my shopping cart right now that I want.

 

 

Who's ready for the code!!!!

 

WORLDACCORDINGTOALY35

Car Cha-Ching: How to Save Money when Purchasing a Car

Today I am honored to be able to share Caliber Collision and their money saving advice when buying a car. They recently contacted me in hopes that I would help them spread this wonderful information to me fellow military family. And of course I was more than happy to help. 

Car Cha-Ching:  How to Save Money when Buying a Vehicle

Enlistment Bonus.  Hostile Fire Pay. 

Family Separation Allowance.  In the military, many opportunities are available to make additional money, and it can be tempting to spend it on luxury items (like a new computer) or quick purchases (like eating out every night). Instead, you should save it or use it for large purchases beneficial to you.  When you receive your bonuses and additional pay, you should put the money in a bank account where it can accumulate interest over time.  If possible, investing your extra money in stocks and bonds is smart because they will yield a higher ROI (Return on Investment) than interest will.  However, life is full of surprises, and you might have to spend it on a large purchase like a new vehicle or air conditioning unit.  Saving is important, but sometimes, purchases are necessary.

After a certain period of time, the cost of repairing your vehicle becomes more than your vehicle is actually worth, and the best option is to replace it.  Buying a new vehicle can be overwhelming because so many options need to be considered, not to mention the financial aspect.  However, with the easy access of information via the Internet, you can research vehicle options before you set foot at a dealership, and you should take advantage of this convenience.  You should make a budget and look for vehicles that are within your budget, not at your maximum level or over it.

Everyone has different vehicle needs, and even if you love your best friend’s vehicle, it might not be the best option for you.  When you are shopping for a new vehicle, you need to consider what the primary purpose of your vehicle is and how this vehicle will be able to serve you for years to come.  For example, a convertible might sound fun now, but if you are planning on starting a family in a few years, you might consider a more family-friendly option like a sedan.  In addition, you should research insurance and gas costs of prospective vehicles because these costs add up over time.

Purchasing a vehicle is a tremendous decision, and you should take your time selecting your purchase.  You should consider safety capabilities, and when you are purchasing a vehicle, be sure to test all of the features and cargo space.  It is very frustrating to purchase a vehicle only to realize your golf bag orchild’s stroller does not fit in the trunk.  Do not let the salesperson rush you into a decision because you will be the one making car payments and driving the vehicle.

Financial aspects of buying a vehicle can be overwhelming to say the least.  You should try to put the maximum amount you can in a down payment because it will save you from paying future interest.  If you are financing your vehicle, compare loan rates from different lending partners before you commit to one.  When you are signing financial and ownership papers, make sure all of the figures are what you had previously discussed, and if you have questions, ask!  If you are buying or considering buying a vehicle from their dealership, you certainly have the right to ask a question.

Before you spend any amount of money, you should decide if the purchase is truly necessary, and if necessary, you should make sure you are receiving the best price possible.  Buying a vehicle is a financial commitment, and you need to be certainyou are truly happy with your choice and able to pay for it.

Valerie handles media relations for Caliber Collision, and in her spare time, she enjoys swimming, traveling, baking, and playing with her puppy Emma.  Some of her favorites include Taylor Swift, Coke Zero, and The Good Wife, and she enjoys living life to the fullest but also making time to enjoy the simple things.

Road to baby C part 3

Well I got a phone call from my doctor today with all my lab results... It wasn't bad but it wasn't entirely good. All test came back normal besides 1. My testosterone, yes for those that didn't know women have testosterone as well although our number are significantly lower than a male. In order to understand my outcome I will give a criteria. So for women in the age group of 28-35 if your testosterone levels are below 48 then your good.... However for a doctor to start the diagnosis process for PCOS it is 27 and higher. My level......34. So for my age group it's good but for the PCOS criteria not so much. It's not bad but it's not good. 

My doctor is concerned but not worried (if that makes since). I don't have any of the other tale tell signs of PCOS so she's on the optimistic side. She knows how much it means to me to have a baby so she's working extremely hard to help find the answers. Friday I have an ultrasound and that right there will either confirm PCOS or rule it out. I'm nervous, I'm hoping there isn't an  exorbitant amount of follicles in my ovaries. My doctor said that she is glad that my testosterone levels are on the low side if I do have PCOS, that it will make things a bit easier to manage. That there are different levels. If I don't have PCOS then I am one of those people that it's just not easy to conceive and there's really no answer as to why. Either way clomid is probably going to be the next phase in our quest to have a baby.  

As of right now all I can do is wait and hope that no mater if I do have PCOS or not that we will be able to get pregnant. I am very grateful for my doctor and that she is actually listening to my concerns as well as making sure I understand everything. 

I know some people my criticize me for blogging about this, but this is my journey. My whole goal of my blog is to let people know that they are not alone if they are ever in similar situations that I have been in.