2 years

It's been 2 years since my world was turned upside down. The million dollar question is 'how am I doing'. The truth..... Not so good. Now don't get me wrong the good days outweigh the bad days. But with everything that is going on right now I just want for my mama to be here.

The stress of the deployment is starting to become to much to bare. We literally haven't had anytime to spend together and this breaks my heart. The furbabies know something is going on. I'm not looking forward to this, I know I know ever spouse says this and has the same feelings, I'm not trying to say mine are worse than theirs. I'm being strong and haven't cried yet but I know when he gets on the plane I'm gonna loose it...

Everyday for the last 2 years I reply parts of that day. They are starting to get less and less but I still have moments where memories pop into my head. I know it's not good to keep holding onto that day, but part of me still feels like if I let go then it will make it 100% true and honestly I am still not ready to admit that. Logically in my head I know it's true that this isn't one big nightmare but in my heart I'm not ready for it to be true. I probably never will be ready. 

Tonight is the 2nd annual Light up the Sky for Robin. I am looking forward to this. This year I decided to have those that attend to write their wishes on the lanterns.