Bullying is never the answer

My heart aches for this post, I was debating whether or not if I should post about it. Considering MY blog is about my life (the ups and the downs) I figured that it was warrented. That it will show that bullying is alive and well and that it can effect anyone.

 Last night I was a victim of bullying. It wasn't as bad as others have had it but bullying in any form is not right. It doesn't matter how much or how little, bullying is bullying and it effects people in many ways. Someone that I had considered a friend attacked one of my shirt designs because she didn't like the wording. I stood up for my product then deleted the comments and blocked the person on fb and ig. This person then went to Twitter and attacked me personally. Even going so low as to attacking the fact that I am having fertility problems and that she hopes that I never get pregnant. This is a person I considered a friend, She stooped so low to say such vile things. Other people on Twitter saw what she said and stood up for me. I am beyond grateful that they did this. I am at loss as to how someone can say such vile things and not have one hint of remorse. To say that you hope I never become pregnant is beyond heartbreaking. I'm not sure what's worse, the things she said or that she was a "friend".

How it started was over a freaking shirt, yes you heard that right a shirt!! She didn't like the wording on one of MY shirt designs. I posted the shirt on my instagram she then proceeded to say it was wrong, (in hindsight I probably should have deleted the comment) I defended the design, she went postal from that point on. I deleted the comments at that point, blocked her on instagram and Facebook. she then decided to take it to Twitter. Then she kept trying justify what she said by saying I spoke ill of her pregnancy, I NEVER once spoke ill, I knew her struggle. I have a whole bunch of stuff I could have pulled on her but never did, I am not going to stoop to her level. She kept calling me names like cunt and moron ect. I reported the tweets, then once people noticed what she said and started to back me she deleted most of the tweets to make it look like we were attacking her. Everyone has screenshots!!!

Yes I post my journey on my blog, I post so others know they are not alone not to use it as a weapon against me. I did nothing wrong!!! I was defending my product. The moment I read it I literally dropped my phone. The fact that someone can say that and not have any remorse baffles me. Like my heart literally hurts. I don't get it how someone can think it's ok to say things like that. To be so malicious with your words and have no remorse is beyond me.

Honestly I feel bad for her and for all the bullies out there. They obviously are struggling with something in their lives to act this way towards people.

What Is Cyber Bullying?

Cyber bullying is bullying through email, instant messaging (IMing), chat room exchanges, Web site posts, or digital messages or images send to a cellular phone. Cyber bullying, like traditional bullying, involves an imbalance of power, aggression, and a negative action that is often repeated. 

Cyber bullying in its simplest form takes place between two people through email, instant messaging, or phone texting. But to be fully satisfying to the genuine bully, there has to be an audience; thus, he elevates the bullying to social media, Twitter, or a comment forum. In this way, the humiliation is public and twice as shaming. And the bully can perform at his sadistic best (or worst) before like-minded aggressors.  

Trolls 

Adult cyber bullying often takes the form of “trolling.” The word comes from a reference to the method of catching fish by trolling a baited line in the water and waiting for a fish to bite. In the same sense, the Internet troll tries to “catch” an unsuspecting victim to demean and humiliate. Trolls are an annoying problem for those who use the Internet regularly. They are present on social media and in the comments sections of various websites, articles, blogs, and other online forums.

Stats

Nearly 75 percent of American adults have witnessed online harassment, with 40 percent seeing the brunt of that cyberbullying, according to a survey on the subject by the Pew Research Center.

When it came to observing others:

• 60 percent said they witnessed someone being called offensive names
• 53 percent saw efforts to purposefully embarrass someone
• 25 percent witnessed someone being harassed for a sustained period of time
• 24 percent saw someone being physically threatened
• 19 percent said they witnessed someone being sexually harassed
• 18 percent said they saw someone stalked

Of those who personally experienced cyberbullying:

• 27 percent were called offensive names
• 22 percent had someone try to purposefully embarrass them
• 8 percent were physically threatened
• 8 percent were stalked
• 7 percent were harassed for a sustained period
• 6 percent were sexually harassed 

Road to Baby C part 4

I've been struggling with this post for a few weeks now. I went to see my specialist and I have a "diagnosis" if you could call it that. Good news is I don't have PCOS however I have "unexplained infertility" so we are now having to go see a fertility doctor to help.

This is a double edged sward, on one hand I am happy that there is "nothing" wrong that I don't have a "condition". And on the other hand hearing "unexplained infertility" is heart wrenching. It makes me think what could I have done wrong?. My specialist explained the process of what is going to happen and that they are very optimistic that they will succeed in helping us make our dreams come true. I will end up being on at least 3 different types of medicine. One to induce a cycle, one to "regulate" me and one to induce ovulation. I am well aware that the first few months are trial and error for finding my perfect dosage just like any other medication. I can only hope that with the help of our fertility doctor that our long and hard journey is almost over with our dreams coming true.

Everyday I get so scared to go on social media. Everyday there is a new person popping up pregnant. Now don't get me wrong I am happy for those people. However I can't help but be jealous and angry at the same time. Don't they realize that they are being very insensitive, is what I always say however I have to tell myself that just because I have chosen to tell my story doesn't mean they haven't struggled. But there is also that small percentage that wasn't trying or for that matter never wanted kids and now all the sudden they are all over the place posting in your face. Like I said I am happy that all of these people are being blessed, but its very hurtful.

I would never wish this pain on my worst enemy. It is an inner struggle and war with yourself. Blaming yourself for god knows what. Feeling like you are being punished for something. It also takes a toll on your marriage. As much as I'd like to say that is doesn't, it truly does, it pits you against each other at times. I have come to hate the term "god doesn't give you more than you can handle", that saying is a crock of shit. He has done so much crappy shit to my family in the last year an a half more than anyone in this life time ever deserves.

I keep telling myself that my struggles will help someone know they are not alone and that they can get through the darkness. However why me, why do I have to go through all of this? All I have every wanted my whole life was to be a wife and a mother. I have always said that my sole purpose in life is to be a wife and a mother. Why can't I have that? Why does my life have to be hard? What did I ever do to deserve this turmoil?

Exfoliating Body Scrub with Dead Sea Salt and Natural Oils

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I received this THE SEA SALT BODY SCRUB: Made with Real Dead Sea Salt in return for my honest review.

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Learn About the Brand

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Review

So I have tried other salt and sugar scrubs, I always have loved them. Oh boy was I wrong those other brands have nothing on this product!!! I started out and was just going to test it out on my hands and legs. I did my hands first. Let me tell you once I did my hands I has in love and ended up going a full fledged at home spa exfoliation session. The first thing I liked about this product was the color. I am big on the "ocean" colors. Then the scent upon opening it just took me to this relaxation place. Of course this has oils in it, at first thought I was like crap it is going to give me that "second layer" of skin instead of actually soaking into my skin. Boy was I wrong. I instantly felt my skin soaking it up and my skin felt refreshed and hydrated. 2 days later my skin still feels so soft and hydrated. I am beyond pleased with this product.