Road to Baby C part 2

A few weeks back I did a pregnancy test and some other blood work. Well I got a phone call a few hours later with the results... Not pregnant. Whelp that's not the only blow I had, I was informed that I probably have hyperthyroidism. That is what is effecting my menstrual cycle. Then a few minutes later I got another phone call from my regular doctor to explain more in detail. I was sent back for another blood test. Turns out my thyroid was having a tantrum.

Flash forward to today. More blood work to find out what's going on, including finding out if I have PCOS...... My heart totally stopped when my ob said this out loud. I now have to take progesterone to try to get my menstrual cycle to start. Along with all the blood tests I also have to get an ultrasound. Pending all the results there's a chance that I will have to go see a specialist to start ovulation therapy, which is meds to force my body to ovulate. Which thank god tricare covers, however if after trying that and it doesn't work the next step would be ivf and of course tricare doesn't cover that. 

To hear my doctor say all these things like; pcos, early onset menopause, infertility, high testosterone, low estrogen, the list goes on. This is a lot of info to take in and I'm trying not to freak out. This waiting game is so scarey. Like I don't know what I would do if I'm not capable of having children. I have always said that I was put her to be a wife and mother. I am a wife and all I am missing is becoming a mother. 

My biggest struggle is why is it so easy for a lot of people but not me? Like I see all these people posting on social media that they are pregnant and I die a little inside. I know I know you don't know what happens behind closed doors and who know maybe some of them were struggling, but I know for a fact a lot of them weren't struggling. And it's a slap in the face. Like what did I do so wrong for God to do all these bad things to me?