I've been gone for awhile and a lot has happen...... which kind of leads me to the topic of this post.
Something happens when a women becomes a mother, I don't know how or why, or hell I don't even know when it happens but it happens. You loose yourself. Your no longer (insert name here), you are now so and so's mother. Everything you do, everything you are is no longer for you. The things you enjoyed prior to becoming a mother you tell yourself that you will get back into it, once they nap, once they get on a schedule, once everyone goes to bed. But let's be honest that never happens. When they are napping you find yourself trying to catch up on house work, when you finally get them on a schedule you now have more things around the house that needs to be done, when everyone goes to bed so do you. It's a never ending cycle.
I have found this even more of a struggle for myself as prior to having the twins I had a job, hell I've had a job since I was 15, that's half my life!!! Now all of the sudden not only am a mother I am a stay at home mom. As much as I love it, I also want to scream inside as I have lost my identity. It's taken me 5 months to get it back, I still don't fully have it back, it's going to be a slow process.
I closed my Etsy shop down to be able to focus on the twins for a bit and I will admit it's been closed down for far too long now, it was never meant to be closed this long but like I said you loose yourself. I have slowly been getting back into my studio (when the twins allow it). And let me just say when I get into my makers zone it's amazing, I never grow old of that feeling.
Don't get me wrong I love every minute of being a mom, it's just why does this mostly only happen to women? Don't we deserve to have an identity to ourselves? Why are we the ones that are expected to give up everything about ourselves?
Guys you need to help your women!!! You need to encourage and help them get back into what they loved doing. Loosing your identity is hard!! Support them, make them not feel bad for taking 5minutes to ourselves.
So how do you find your new identity?? The answer is actually simple but achieving it is not as simple. You just have to find time for yourself. Do the things you love to do. Once you become a mother some of the things you enjoyed to do prior may not be what you enjoy now and thats fine. It's going to be trial and error when it comes to these things. But trust me you need to do it for your sanity. Remember a happy and healthy mama in turn helps make babies happy and healthy. Once you start making time for yourself and doing the things you enjoy you will start to feel so much better about yourself. As comfortable as leggings are and as easy as putting your hair up in that mom bun do you really want that to be your everyday look?? Put those jeans on, let your hair down have a little fun!! I myself am still struggling with this part as LuLaRoe is so comfy!!!!!!But at least I feel comfy and confident in a lot of my LLR (I have more than just leggings lol).
So as I start to find my new identity I have learned I still love to blog and be in my craft studio. I am hoping to open my easy shop back up in the next few weeks. This is going to be hard as the twins love keeping me on my toes with their schedules. I also plan to blog at least twice a week from here on out.
What are some things that have helped you find your new identity??